She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
