i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
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