It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
