I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
