4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
