Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
