If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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