Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
