East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You can't just leave with hair like that
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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