Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
