We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Couch. On fire.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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