this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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