I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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