I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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