We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
