All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I want to have your abortion
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
