i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
