i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
