why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
