I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
