but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
