i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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