I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
