To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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