She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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