If that was your dad, he is hot
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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