Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
