i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
