I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
