I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
