Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
