i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
its liver damage thursday
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
