I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
