I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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