her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
