she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
