I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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