you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
