so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
