whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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