he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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