One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
