Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
