She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
