Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
