Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think I am morally bankrupt
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
