i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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