so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
