Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
