Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
how drunk are you?
Several
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
