he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
