Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
