I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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