But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
