so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
