Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Moan for me like Helen Keller
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
