i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
