Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
