It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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