Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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