do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
