I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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