I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
