Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
