Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
