I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
