hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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