Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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